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The Practical Buddhist Blog – Practical Advice on Integrating the Practice of Buddhism in Contemporary Life


Our mind wishes to manage all elements of our life, due to the fact that we gain from experience that if we do not manage it, we can’t count on or trust anybody attending to us what we desire.

But this fixation with control has a significant practical issue. Regarding those elements of our life that depend or include on the actions of another person, we in truth have no control. We can do whatever we believe we must do, we can thoroughly prepare, we can follow a strategy of attack, however eventually we have no control due to the fact that it depends on the actions of another person.

As an outcome, this fixation with control causes continuous aggravation and stress and anxiety. Because we understand that achieving our objective relies on another person over whom we have no control.

What is the escape of this problem? The response is to totally free yourself from the control of your mind – which is where the fixation for control lives – and reconnect rather with your real self, your heart, your real Buddha nature (see my post, “How to Free Yourself . . . “) and quit the desire to manage. Understand that whether something takes place or not is in the hands of the universe.

If something does not pan or occur out the method you desired, it simply wasn’t suggested to be. It’s not that the universe or Buddha or God failed you; it simply wasn’t suggested to be. In the sense that it wasn’t in your benefit; the universe has something much better in mind for you. This is the lesson to be found out when your objective isn’t attained. It’s ok to be slightly dissatisfied, however you need to state to yourself and think that it wasn’t suggested to be.

However, we do have control over our own ideas and actions, if you know, conscious. As the calmness prayer states, “Grant me the courage to change the things I can,” which I broaden upon by discussing those things are the method I connect to myself and others, the ideas I believe, the words I speak, and the actions I take. Thus you have the capability to manage, to choose, whether to be at peace and delighted regardless of the scenario you discover yourself in.

If you quit the desire to manage what you can not manage, however control the things you can, you will feel a big lifting of problem and stress and anxiety, and rather experience the introduction of peace. You will not experience panic when you confess that you have no control due to the fact that you have faith that you do have control over whether you are at peace and delighted.

May you experience peace and joy.


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